Monday, October 29, 2012

Unexpected lessons


So I was walking on the street yesterday, all dressed up in my sundress and flipflops, ready to hit Tanjong Beach Club. I suddenly saw this reallllyyy old and frail Uncle pushing a metal cart filled with recyclables. He seemed between 80-90 years of age and was completely hunched due to age. I am by no means a great samaritan but seeing someone so weak struggling with his cart on the uphill slope just was too heart-rending to not care about. Also, I knew that I wasn't going anywhere important. I was going to the beach to party with my friends.

I was carrying a stack of books and I started helping him by pushing the cart with my one free hand. It helped a bit, but all the people around could see that we were clearly struggling. I even dropped my books at some point. So we were then on an uphill slope pushing a metal cart stacked high with cardboard, with my books on the ground and still noone offered to even pick up the books for me. After 30 seconds of no reaction from the swarm of people around us, I realized that I can't half-ass this anymore. After what looked like a game of Twister, I managed to keep the cart steady and pick up the books at the same time. After dumping my books in the cart, I took it from him and we started walking ahead slowly. 

I first started walking at what I thought was a slow pace. After Uncle needed to rest in a few mins, I realized that my slow pace was too taxing on him. So we started out on a new speed which literally seemed like the definition of baby steps. Any driving past us in the car would have assumed that we are standing still. That's how slowly we walked. And for the next 30 minutes. Walking at a snail's pace with Uncle shuffling next to me was the most relaxing 30 minutes of my week. All I was focussed on was pushing that cart on the uneven sidewalk, avoiding the ditches and just enjoying the moment. Uncle and I tried some conversation but it didn't get very far. The only sentences we exchanged was him contantly offering "you go home", me replying, "No. no, I push". As we walked along the sidewalk, people for some reason, looked mad. Everyone stared and most people gave these disdainful looks, I have no idea why. The cart was clearly heavy for me and nobody offfered to push. I felt like I had stepped into his world of indifference and for once I was seeing the other side. But it was so relaxing and peaceful to walk at a snail's pace, for once really look around my own neighbourhood while constantly exchanging smiles with this stranger. It's so hard to describe but it was one of the most enriching experiences ever. I felt all my stresses were so self-made, so avoidable, compared to Uncle pushing this heavy cart for miles. 

After 30 mins or so, we reached a bus stop and he said that was his destination. I am sure that he was saying that only cos he didn't want me to help anymore. You could see this clear expression of gratitude mixed with embarassment everytime he insisted that he wanted me to go home. His look of hurt pride when I carefully asked him if he wanted to sit on the cart (he looked very tired as we walked), showed me clearly that he would rather push the cart than feel incapable. So I had to convince him that I truly had nothing to do and he was helping me be less bored. At the bus stop, I sat down with him (again with everyone staring) and I tried to convince him that I can walk him home. He insisted he was okay. Not knowing what to do, I just gave him a hug and asked him to take care. Then verrryyyyy suprisingly, he says, "Monday 1 o clock, I wait here". I tried to explain that I would be at work, but he just kept repeating it, "Monday 1 o clock, today sunday, tomorrow Monday.. Monday 1 o clock, I wait here for you". I promised him I would come and I walked away, my day a million times brighter. What's funny about this whole situation is that he thought I was the one who did him a favor.

Epilogue
Today, I bought some fruits for both us and even took a cab from work so that I can meet Uncle in time. Waited from 1.00 to 1.30. I guess Uncle couldn't make it. He's so old :( I tried to ask a bunch of kids at the bus-stop for some paper and a pen so that I could leave a note for him. With their giant school bags, they all replied, "don't have". Punks.