Thursday, September 6, 2012

Tough love

So my whole drama with Rob might finally have come to a conclusion. We are not talking anymore. It's tearing me apart to lose my best friend. For the first time, I ignored some 50 of his calls, his texts, and shut him out. It hurts me as much as it's hurting him but I can't tell him that. I can't tell him that it means everything in the world to me to see him happy. I want to tell him he has been my family, my friend, my confidante, my support-system and I wish now he wasn't this stranger that I don't know. But I can't tell him all this. Every time I tried to help him move on, he took it as a sign that there is still hope for him and took advantage of it.

Rob, this is what I want to tell you knowing that you wouldn't listen. I love you as my best friend. As the guy that I shared most of my past 2.5 years with. I hate you as my ex-boyfriend that won't let me move on. I will miss you from the bottom of my heart. I will miss the queso at Don Pablos, the long drives in the Z, I will miss the Pizza Hut buffet and the obsessive couponing. I will miss going to Payless at 3 am in the night. I'll miss dancing in Cactus with you and you carrying me piggyback cos my feet hurt. I'll miss the road trips and the movie nights. However, I won't miss the fights and the tears. I won't miss you getting drunk and punching holes in the wall and your ibuprofen projectiles on my face :) I won't miss the feeling of helplessness as I beg you to let me get over you. There are some good memories. Let's cherish them and move on positively. Be happy. I am doing this because I care for you and I care about myself too. I will always think of time good times and miss you as my best friend.

This too shall pass


The doors seem shut,

The sky seems grey,

You feel like you can’t

Get through today

Hold on a little stronger

It’s not that much longer

Guess all I’m trying to say,

It’s all gonna be okay



Your friends are there

You just need to look

The answers you seek

Are not in any book

Don’t be ruled by fear

In my thoughts you're near

What I’m trying to tell you,

You’re gonna stop being blue



Just step out the door

Look all around

Your life is beautiful

Joys waiting to be found

Stand brave, stand tall

may stumble won’t fall

The message that I convey,

There will be better days.



I know it’s hard

I’ve been there too

But I can’t be of help

It has to be you

You’re almost there now

Find the will somehow

Trust me, soon you’ll laugh

Rob, this too shall pass.

Epilogue: We started talking again two weeks later.. he promises to be a good friend. Dec, 2012 and it's mostly holding true.

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