I guess like most girls my age, I have had a very turbulent relationship with the dreaded L word. I have usually been very starry eyed about the notion of love. I always believed in crazy amazing romantic love. But for the past few years, after breaking hearts and having my heart broken, I really started questioning if love was something than teenagers imagined and then life hits you. I had really started to laugh about the fact that love is nothing but a cover up for saying that you are good looking enough and interesting enough that I guess I should be with you. And God forbid, there comes along someone better looking or more interesting, then the whole notion of "I love you" suddenly evaporates into "I need to find myself", "I'm not in the right place" and of course, "It's not you, it's me". But I dunno, just this week, I have been noticing love. There was no "aha" moment where I suddenly got my faith back, or I guess life is just suddenly being positive so the world feels brighter or whatever, but I am starting to believe that true love exists even now. The love that will love someone a 100 pounds later, will love someone when they wake up with morning stinky breath, and you know that the world can end before this person leaves your corner. I'm starting to believe in this love.
As romantic as it sounds, I don't believe that I'll find that love on a sports bike in a leather jacket hiding 6 pack abs. In fact, I may be prejudiced but I really haven't even met a mildly pleasant guy with 6 pack abs. I don't expect the guy to bring me breakfast in bed, but I hope that when I am really excited about something, he will know me enough to fake-share my joy. He'll remember to tell me that dinner was good if it was good. Small shit like that. I know that for me to find someone to love me like that, I have to learn to love like that. I am hoping I have learnt and I am wiser now. Omg I need to make a list of all the amazing things I wanna do with that guy.
1) Number 1 is ALWAYS to go on a picnic. And now I even like wine!
2) Rock climbing
3) Hold hands n ice skate :)
4) Go sledding on the smaller slopes first and then I stop being scared, I'll join him on the bigger slopes.
5) Let him teach me how to not suck at a sport.. whatever he likes enough to play but doesn't love enough to hate watching me suck.
6) GO TO THE BEACH. And lie on the beach and talk.. and hold hands n walk in the water.. or maybe play tag :)
7) pictionarrryyyyyyyy... and moooonnoopollyyyyy (please God make him like Monopoly!)
8) drive in movie!!
9) Pizza farm!!
10) Ziplining!
11) Camping.. and we make awesome hot dogs and then we tell scary stories
12) Scuba diving together.. super romantic :)
Hmnnn... it's a nice topic to think about just as I fall asleep :)
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