Indian Weddings and Americans

As you read the title, you probably thought that it was some sort of analogy. No it's not. I'm literally that boring. This post is actually about Indian weddings and Americans. No kidding.

So I was talking to Bob today about how Mansha is soon gonna go all bridezilla on our ass and that's when I got to thinking, I've seen this whole country make a gazillion shows about how stressful it is to plan a wedding.. what the hell is gonna happen if they ever have to plan an Indian wedding!!

Let's start off by talking about the meal.. American brides go for zillion tastings.. meet a dozen caterers.. and plan it all for months.. all for the one single meal that they serve!! Yes.. the entire wedding includes only one meal! And that one meal, includes one entree, at the max, 3-4 appetizers and a dessert table. I would hate to see them try to handle the minimum 9 meals that go into an Indian wedding. And the main wedding meal has a minimum of 20 different dishes, 3 different cuisines..and let's not even think about the desserts and the appetizers. Phew.

And all the stress about the dress!! Can they even imagine what would happen when they have to stress about THE dress, then the dress for the reception, then the dress for the Sangeet and the dress for the Mehendi. The hotel accommodations wouldn't include only talking to the hotel about the group discount but actually booking the entire hotel for every relative, friend, or relative's friend you've ever encountered. And if only the jewellery shopping was restricted to finding the perfect ring. An Indian wedding also includes finding the perfect ear-rings for sister-in law, perfect mother and mother-in-law approved mangalsutra, perfect chain for groom cousin's wife, perfect kid bangles for groom's brother's adorable daughters and then of course repeat the process for everybody on your own side.

And all the fuss about how weddings are expensive... cmonn. I have been to weddings with a 100 people where everybody was talking about how the prep took months and how it was a "huge" wedding. You've got to be kidding me. I'm scared to even imagine one of those women on the shows trying to invite 500 people out of which you have to pay for the accommodation of at least a 100. Not to forget the 9 meals that you're also paying for.

Let's talk about the wedding day itself. There's all this talk about how they wanna enjoy the moment and try go to get stressed and take it all in. Girl, you ain't seen wedding day stress till you sit for mantras for 5 hours, starving while everybody eats around you, maintaining just the right balance between looking shy enough for his folks and happy enough for your folks, all while wearing jewellery that weighs like 10 pounds.

I mean I'm not saying that their weddings are a cakewalk and the famous stress is not well deserved. But I really think that an Indian wedding or two will help them see how amazing they truly have it.